Male VS. Female Waiters: Which is Better for a Restaurant?

Waiters and waitresses are what make a restaurant run smoothly from the point of view of the customer. They bring food out efficiently and make sure many different groups of people stay happy all while being in charge of several different tables. What exactly makes a waiter the best? Is there a difference between whether men or women are better for a restaurant?

Depending on your needs, a man could be better for your restaurant, or a woman could be. Men are good for restaurants that may need conflict management, for example where other men are drinking. Women would be best for restaurants that serve more expensive food as men of higher stature will pay higher tips to attract women.

No matter what kind of waiter you are looking for, using the criteria below will help you find the best fit for your needs.

Who Makes More Tips?

There are several things that could impact this:

  1. Men tip more to women to flirt or show status and wealth. This is a way they can show the waitress that he is capable of taking care of her.
  2. Women are better at apologising when things go wrong. This impacts the customers’ view of service, which impacts how much of a tip they will give.
  3. Physical appearance plays a role. Many view attractiveness as a positive aspect of a waitress. This means that the customer will most likely tip more.
  4. Women may also make more tips from other women who feel like they can relate to them.

Therefore, it is usually women that make more tips. Attractive, well-dressed women make the most of any group, this is usually due to men who find them attractive or want to show off in front of them.

The bottom line is that a waiter or waitress must have good service. The number of tips that a waiter or waitress will receive depends on how well they are able to take care of their customers. No matter what gender your server is or how attractive your server is, without good service, the tips will not be good.

Who Do Customers Prefer?

When visiting a restaurant, some customers may have a preference on who serves them. It seems like for the most part customers prefer female servers. This is due to a number of reasons

  • Similarly, to tipping, men prefer female servers as they like to flirt with them, taking the kindness of the server to be them flirting back. They believe that they are able to gain a relationship more intimate with the server if they tip well.

Men also like female waitresses due to sexual attraction, many believe if they are to provide a higher tip, they will become more attractive to women. They may believe tipping higher and showing their status is impressive to women,

  • Even women prefer female servers. Many women feel more comfortable taking menu suggestions from women like themselves, both physically and emotionally similar- for example, their likes and looks. In addition, to this many women feel more comfortable talking to women who they feel are their friend.
  • Many people also prefer female servers who are overly friendly or touchy, this is seen as attractive for men and kind for women who see them as a friend. However, for men this isn’t the case as an overly touchy man can be unattractive to women and uncomfortable for many men- who of which have homo-erotic fears.

Therefore, as a general rule, customers prefer female servers, and they find them more friendly and/or attractive. Men can be seen as lower in stature or creepier. However, many people will value men who work hard and provide exceptional service.

As earlier stated, the gender or appearance of the waiter may improve their tips, but the most important factor is the performance of the waiter, their service, and how they treat the customers. So, when hiring a waiter, the gender may be considered but the experience and performance of the waiter is the most important factor and should be considered before gender.


What Is the Difference in the Treatment of Male and Female Waiters?

With the different perceptions of each gender within hospitality, comes different treatment.

For the most place,

  • Women are sexualized in hospitality, especially by men. The treatment of female servers can be more indicative of their appearance rather than their performance as a waitress. Despite this women get more ‘perks’ than men receiving more tips. Therefore, many women receive unfair treatment if they are not conventionally ‘attractive’ to customers.
  • For men there’s also unfair treatment, men are less favored and as a result, make fewer tips. Some men are also treated as inferior as some believe male waiters are lower in status and therefore are given less respect by customers. 
  • The tips men make are more representative of their performance whereas the tips women make relate more to their appearance. Some studies even show that women with larger breasts, blonde hair, red lipstick, and red clothes make more tips.


It can be stated that women may be a better option for a restaurant. They gain more tips from men due to sexualization and from women who see them as relatable and friendly. Women are also better at apologizing for mistakes and customers usually accept these apologies more from women than from men. 

However, men that can relate to other men and work hard throughout their shift also still have the potential to make large tips. Men may also feel more comfortable engaging with other men when issues or conflicts arise. 

When picking a waiter, the first option should be looking at the experience and skills of the waiter, assessing their work ethic and customer service, before using gender as an employment strategy.


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